


Now & Then

by KiaArimasen



Category: No Fandom
Genre: F/M, M/M, Plot Twists, Romance, Sad, Time Travel, Time travel in a different way
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-26 20:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6254908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiaArimasen/pseuds/KiaArimasen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Maybe another time, in another life, I can protect you better and be the person who you saw me as. I love you Noah, forever and a day."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is Now, May 11, 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe another time, in another life, I can protect you better and be the person who you saw me as. I love you, Noah, forever and a day."

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

 

Maybe somewhere in the depths of my mind, I knew this would happen. I knew it and chose to ignore it, thinking this was some un-rational fear I had been holding on to for far too long. If only I hadn't.

   "Miss Laine?"

I lift my head from the bed and looked at the nurse.

   "The family is here now and would like to see their son. Also, the doctor would like to talk to you seeing as the mother is in hysterics right now."

I know they should've been here to see him first, but they were so many hours away at the time, and the nurses told me he wouldn't stop screaming for me, and asked me to stand by his side after the surgery. He woke up for a moment and in that moment was the last that he saw me right when I entered the room. I've been by his side since and haven't left till they got here.

   "So I see. I shall be there shortly, just let me say goodbye."

   "That's fine." she smiled and walked out the door.

   "Maybe another time, in another life, I can protect you better and be the person who you saw me as. I love you, Noah, forever and a day." I say as I kiss his forehead. I could feel the tears building up, but I forced myself to breathe and move my way out the door.

I see the same nurse standing next to a doctor and make my way towards them. As soon as I reach them I see the doctor look up from his clipboard and the nurse leave to go get his family.

   "Miss Laine I presume?"

   "Yes, that's me."

   "Great. Well for starters, he's stable. We have done all that we can that's in our power for Mr. Walker."

   "You make it sound like he's stable for now, but dying later."

   "We'll with the amount of five bullet wounds and a concussion, he should be dead miss. He's extremely lucky, or someone had terrible aim, but no, he's not dying."

   "Then what is it, doctor?"

   "He's in a coma, and we aren't sure if he's going wake up, or ever wake up. As we all know it takes time, it just depends if that time is a lot or a little."

I crossed my arms over my stomach, trying to imagine holding myself together. Chanting over in my mind he's not dead, he's not dead, but that little voice in the back starts saying he might never wake up, he might as well be.

   "Miss Laine?"

   "Um, yeah okay. At least he's not dead. Um, thank you for all that you've done."

   "Of course. I will discuss this with the family later on when they have calmed down a bit. Meanwhile, you can go visit him one last time if you like and it's recommended you try and get some rest miss."

   "Of course. Thank you once again, doctor."

He nodded and went on his way, and I made my way back to Noah's room. As soon I entered, Noah's mother looked at me with hate in her eyes. She never did like me, but I didn't mind because his sister and father did and treated me with nothing but kindness.

   "You did this! If he was never with you, none of this would have never happened!"

As soon as she said it, she marched up to me and slapped me hard across the face. Part of me felt like I deserved this, and maybe she was right. So I did nothing because I also knew she was a mother in distraught, and with fear that her baby boy may never see anything but the light of heaven and not the sun.

His father stood from his seat as the nurse and sister looked on in disbelief.

   "Martha!" the disbelief in his voice was evident. The disbelief that his loving and caring wife would do such a thing this at this time.

   "No, John! I knew! A mother always knows! I knew she would be trouble from the start, now look at our son, our angel that we promised to protect from the world and people like her!" she yelled as pointed at me.

   "That's no reason to hit her and entirely blame her Martha and you know that. She did nothing wrong. I don't know what it is with you and the people that our kid's date, but you have taken this too far! Evie is a nice person, always has been and always will be."

   "Mom I agree with dad, this hatred for people dating us and scared for us, it's too much."

   "Look Mar, we know why what happened today makes you like this, but not in this way and not to her. You don't hit and you don't hurt."

Martha was silent, then she broke. She fell to her knees and wept. Of course, John and Julie went to her side and held her. John looked up at me and I saw it. His eyes said it all, he was sorry about Martha's behavior. They shouldn't have to be sorry, I should be the one who's sorry. I felt like I almost pulled apart a family. I nodded at John and the nurse and left.

_'For sure, maybe another time in another life, I can protect you better.'_


	2. This is Now, May 11, 2014. Evie's the Name.

I rushed out the hospital onto the sidewalk outside. I picked up my phone to make a call to my chauffeur, Dave. As I was talking, I didn’t notice how tightly I was gripping the phone in my hand. I hung up as soon as he said that he'll be there shortly. I walked up and down the sidewalk for twenty minutes straight, waiting for Dave, and he pulled up minutes later. He got out the car quickly and opened the door before I could even reach out towards the door handle. I got in the car quickly and he shut the door just as quick, got back in the driver's seat, and pulled off. I looked at him through the rearview mirror, my eyes narrowed in agitation.

   "Greetings Ms. Laine."

   "How many times do I have to tell you to quit doing that?”

   “The door or the name?”

   “Both.”

   “Until I am forced to resign miss and you shouldn’t glare like that. You’ll cause wrinkles on your youthful face, and you wouldn’t want that.”

   “Fuck youth.”

   “Foul language never gets anyone anywhere.”

I just sighed and looked out the window, watching the scenery pass by in a blur. Silence had made its way into the car. Not even the radio was playing.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dave occasionally glancing at me through the rearview mirror.

   “Yes, Dave?”

   “…How’s everything with Mr. Walker?”

My hands started trembling, and I crossed my right leg over my left to stop my leg from bouncing. I clenched my eyes closed tightly to stop the coming onslaught of tears. I needed to remind myself that he wasn’t dead, I shouldn’t cry.

_‘But he might as well be. No! You stop that Evie.’_

   “Evie?”

I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, opening my eyes to look at Dave through the mirror once, then back out to the passing scenery.

   “Ah… well, he’s not dead,” I say letting out an emotionless laugh, my voice held no humor. Noting his silence, I continued.

   “He’s in a coma Dave, and it’s bad. Suffered five gunshot wounds and a concussion. Yes, he’s alive, thankfully, but he’s in a coma and the doctor doesn’t know when he’ll wake up…if he wakes up for that matter. It’s so bad, Dave and I’m terrified.”

   “Of what Evie?”

   “… That he’ll never look at me the same again.”

Dave pulled over to the side of the road turning the hazard lights on just in case of the cops, unbuckled his seat belt and turned around in his seat. He looked at me dead in the eyes.

   “I’m sorry to hear that Evie, dreadfully sorry, but you need to know something. You need to know, no matter what you may think, no matter what others may think, no matter what you or anyone says or believes, it is not your fault. It is not your fault Evie; do you hear me?”

   “Try telling his mother that. I’ve ruined her little boy for worse. All of that was me.”

   “Evie!”

I jumped, startled at the tone of Dave’s voice and the sharp glare directed at me. Never has ever risen his voice and given such a stern glare to me. Never.

   “Do not do this to yourself; you hear me, young lady? Don’t you dare do it. That guilt, the feeling of the blame holding heavy on your shoulders, is going to eat you alive inside out. I’m not going to sit here while you try to rot away. Taking the blame and guilt will not lessen the feelings of everyone in distraught. People are going to think and feel the way they want, but it’s not your job to take it upon your shoulders and add it to your own. Do you hear me? I’ve been down that lane many, many, times. I refuse to let you go the same way.”

   “Dave…”

   “Listen to me Evie. It’s not your fault.”

I could only nod. He nodded and turned back in his seat, putting the seatbelt on once more, and pulled off turning off the hazard lights.

_‘If it were only that easy. I’m sorry Dave, but I had my ears stuffed with cotton.’_

Silence returned once more and the scenery became black.

Dave awoke me from the clutches of a deep twenty-minute slumber. Everything felt like a dream, only for it to come all crashing down, like a castle that would no longer float in the sky. My head became an automatic movie player, the images of Noah in the hospital, the doctor’s words on repeat like a bad track.

   “Evie?”

I ran. I rushed to my room to seek comfort from the harsh beatings of reality. I didn’t even greet our maid, Evelyn, and butler, Francis. I could hear the concerned shouts from the three as I rushed up the stairs, but I wanted none of it. I wanted my room, I wanted silence, … I wanted Noah. I locked my door as soon as I got in my room, and paced about the room panting heavily.  I heard the knocks on my door, and left to my bathroom and locked that door too. My mind started to race with images of Noah, all leading up to that night. I suddenly felt … everything. I barely threw my phone and wallet on the counter before hopping in the tub and turning on the water to cold and pulling the shower knob. I couldn’t think straight and just sat on the floor of the tub while the water poured over me.

I felt like was on the verge of sinking, slowly and painfully, all at once.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry out loud. I wanted to break.


	3. This is Now and that was Then Evie. May 11, 2014

After I got out of my cold shower, I changed into a simple pair of clothes and undergarments from my laundry basket filled with clean clothes I had yet to put away and laid in bed. My teeth were chattering, body racking in shivers for ten minutes straight after I got into my bed and snuggled into my blankets. The knocking had stopped after I hadn’t answered while in the shower, but everyone once in a while someone would come by and knock and I would reply, “I’m okay for now.” After that they would leave me be, not because they don’t care, but because they knew when I just needed some time and space for myself to think and calm down. Trust, they care, eventually one of them will grab the master key to unlock my door so I could eat.

I continued to lay in my bed as I recalled the first time I met Noah.

 

 

 

A long time ago Sam Smith was (and still is) my favorite comforter. All of his songs, his music, it spoke volumes that on one could match physically and mentally, but then Noah came wondering along with his voice and his words. He didn’t even need music, it was just him alone with words spoken in tones and increasing volume. It was like I was the only one could hear him. I could hear him scream, hear him shout, or hear him rejoice. I was the only one.

When we met those words were muffled and soft-spoken, almost like there was this soft hum or vibration. Of course, it would be like that, we were strangers when we met. I was a soul just drifting, and he was a soul with a puzzle piece. Basically to put it, I was just a random stranger who he accidently bumped into, and later to come in the few weeks that I had seen him and talked to him, I learned he had someone already.

 I wouldn’t think I would keep meeting him in the same grocery store, on the same bread aisle, almost every other two weeks. Yes, of course, living in the same town, you would expect that, but on the same aisle? Every other two weeks? I think not.

When we kept seeing each other, we became familiar enough to make small (very small) talk and be on our way with our intended business. This is when I found out about Jake. His other half. He accidentally mistook my niceness (and bluntness) for flirting. I wouldn’t blame him. Just because I’m blunt doesn’t mean I’m a bitch. I call it how I see it, and if you happen to be cute, I’ll tell you straight up. I don’t have any reason to lie (doesn’t mean I don’t have my own secrets and demons; I just opt not to tell you until you’re too invested in my life).

When I told him straight off the bat that I wasn’t flirting, just making conversation, it was. . . well, awkward. So I had to hit him with that long drawn out ‘so’ and ask that he had someone in his life. Just to take us anywhere out of this awkward space pocket he put us in. I never saw someone’s face light up so quick in happiness. It was like someone walked straight up to him and put this glowing orb of life into him. Just so filled to the brim with . . . life, it amazed me honestly.

He started talking so much more and I learned two things at that moment. One, Noah can talk and talk, and eventually, he will start to ramble. It was cute in a way. The second thing I learned was the name of his light. His name was Jake.

 Boy let me tell you, the moment he said Jake, he’d start to ramble . . . about Jake. Every other sentence started with Jake this or Jake that or Jake did. That’s nice and all, but I wanted to know about Noah more than Jake. In that sitting, I could tell you a lot about Jake, and literally almost nothing about Noah except that Noah rambles, Noah has Jake, and he ~~loves~~ likes to talk about Jake.

After that time, I didn’t see Noah for five months. When I did see him, our very small conversations continued as if we never had that big discussion about Jake and what not. Like it never happened. I guess it was okay because in the end I still knew nothing about Noah, and it didn’t change the fact that we were still strangers.

The months became longer every time we saw each other and talked on the bread aisle in the grocer’s and in that time-span I found myself listening to Sam Smith’s Leave Your Lover more and more frequently on repeat. I knew why, and I won’t deny it (but that doesn’t mean I’ll admit it out loud).

I liked Noah, despite I knew nothing about the boy.

Even though I liked him, I did nothing about it for he already had someone. Besides, I thought this was a small crush or some sort of small physical attraction (I mean he’s a really good looking guy) so there was no need to worry. Another thing was that I wasn’t a cheater nor did I tolerate it. Despite what people say or think of me, I wasn’t (or ever will be) that type of person. A relationship consists of two, and only two, people. Unfortunately, most people don’t understand that.

The next time I talked to Noah, it was in late April well into the new year. This conversation was as short as the last, but a bit different. I guess he thought I was worth talking to and could make a friend out of (the fact was still present that we still know little to nothing about one another) because he wanted to exchange numbers. I remember exactly what he said that day too, I could never forget.

   “We might as well since we keep seeing each other. Plus, I enjoy these short conversations and your blunt attitude. . .  it’s nice,” he said with this bright smile on his face, but his eyes . . . they held a sadness to them. It was like I could suddenly hear him yelling, like a ringing in my ears, but at that moment there was nothing I could say, hell, there was nothing to say. All I could do was nod and not pry too much into his life. It’s called personal for a reason. So we did exactly that and I left home with sad hazel eyes on my mind and an itch for a pack of cigarettes.

Nothing changed when we exchanged numbers. Conversations were still short and with many months in between them. Nothing had changed, and I had realized that I had smoked a lot more within those months, and December was right around the corner. I was. . . slightly astounded at first. I had been so caught up in this boy that I had not realized these things, especially the fact that December was nearly here. I detested that month so much and I wanted to be angry and bitter, but I couldn’t, I didn’t have good enough a reason to be. Always being alone in December (and pretty much all the time any other month) was not a good enough reason. Even so, I stayed out until two in the morning kicking trashcans over while smoking a cigarette.

December came soon enough, knocking on my front doorstep with a pile of white snow, and harsh freezing cold winds. I was not pleased. I had planned to stay in the comfort of my extremely warm house, reading Man, Interrupted by James Bailey at least about a total of 12 times, lazing about, and eating anything that interested me from the kitchen that we had. I was intending to stay indoors, away from the cold weather and Christmassy spirit for the whole month until January first...but plans don’t like to stick to the damn script.

It was the middle of December, December nineteenth to be exact. It was eleven o’clock at night, and I was up binge watching My Mad Fat Diary on my laptop, in my pajamas (which only usually consisted of an over-sized t-shirt and underwear) cuddled up underneath two warm dryer heated comforters, and my head resting on my white fuzzy pillow. If I got tired, I was ready to knock out comfortably. Had I known that’s not how my night was going to go, I would've never gotten comfortable at all.

My phone had lit up, adding more brightness to the room than necessary, signaling me that I had a new message. As the brightness toned down, I had thought who in the hell would message me this late, but I couldn’t think any more on the subject for my phone had lit up again. There were now two messages. I didn’t waste any more time and picked up my phone to see who it was.

The messages took me by surprise. It was Noah.

The first text was his address or what I was assuming to be his address, it wasn’t that far from mine actually. The next message though had me up and out of my warm comfortable place and almost knocking my laptop off the bed.

_“Come Now. Please?”_

I sped to my closet and grabbed a coat closest to me. Ironically it happened to be my favorite green parka jacket. I grabbed some random leggings to throw on and some white moccasins that were fuzzy on the inside. As I passed by my mirror, I noticed how extremely bizarre I looked. Wearing a green parka, a bright red over-sized shirt, leggings which happened to be brown, and the closest pair of shoes to throw on which were white… well, a more creamed color (I own so many pairs I lose track of which ones I wear). My hair was a whole different case; I couldn’t believe I was bumming it so hard that it came to this.  My hair was such an unruly mess; I was sure there were knots and kinks that I was going to have an extremely hard time combing out. Despite what I looked like, I tossed my hair into a quick messy bun (that hurt in its self), grabbed my keys, and phone and walked out my house, making sure to be quiet to not wake anyone up, and to lock it on the way out. I walked to his house at eleven o’clock at night. It wasn’t that far from mine, twenty minutes away by walking, ten minutes if you ran. I made it in eight. I wasn’t a person to ignore someone in need, even if I didn’t know them at all or well enough.

When I got to the driveway, I was panting exceedingly hard, that I had to bend over on my hands and knees. I knew I should probably start running again even if I wasn’t on the track team anymore. When I finally was able to catch my breath again, I looked around and didn’t see any cars in the driveway although there could be one in the garage.  I walked up to the door and didn’t think of knocking (or thinking of the possible fact it could be locked) and tried for the door. It was unlocked, and without hesitation, I walked in the house.

I must say he had a lovely home, as I observed my surroundings. I walked through the living room and a small hallway that connected to the kitchen. A sudden thought had occurred to me that made me cringed and prayed that they didn’t have cameras as I was trying to find the rooms…well, Noah’s room. Soon I found an entry way with stairs. I made my way up the stairs slowly, but surely, as to not making any noise and watch for creaky steps. Once on the last step, there once more a long hallway with four doors, two on each side. The last door on the end was cracked open a bit and had light protruding from it. I quickly made my way down the hall, and entered quietly and shut the door behind me gently.

Lo and behold, there he was sitting on the edge of the bed in a slouched position, hands folded in between his legs. I walked up to him slowly and looked at him. He didn’t need to make eye contact with me to see that his eyes…they were so dull, life completely sucked out of his being. It was like Noah wasn’t sitting here, but a lifeless doll in his place instead. I looked him over once more then said, “Even if you’re expecting someone, you should lock your front door still.” For a moment he didn’t say anything, almost like it didn’t register that I said something to him. Only when I shifted onto my other foot did he look me in the eye and said a weak “Yeah. I guess so.”

   I asked him, “Anyone home?” He only shook his head as in no, meaning it was only him.

   “Where…?”

   “They went on a vacation, didn’t want to go.”

I hesitated, but made the decision to sit down next to him, with only one of my legs touching his.

   “Speak if you want…or don’t say anything at all. I’m here to listen even if you think it’s trivial or stupid. I won’t say anything of advice or opinion unless you ask for it. Whenever you need me…or want me…look, I’m not good at this, in fact I'm shit at it, but what I’m trying to say is that I’m here Noah. I’m here for you and only you.” It was silent. For twenty minutes straight, it was just silent, but I remained. I wasn’t leaving till there was some sign of life back in him. This wasn’t the Noah; I was getting to know. I know it wasn’t him, despite the little I knew of him, but seeing him in those short moments during those months I had a small feeling of who Noah Walker was.

Noah’s hand twitch slightly, and I glanced at him.

   “Uh… Jake and I... uh, we broke up,” he said with no emotion what so ever. He took a small breath and continued saying what was on his mind. “I-I know it’s something that everyone goes through, but giving your all for seven years, putting all you had into it, all your secrets, your dreams, your aspirations and goals, even your possible future that the other might be, or in this case, was considering. It’s too much. Why does he get to decide that seven years suddenly gets to go down the drain? From the age of fourteen years old and deciding to grow, all of it gone at the age of twenty? Yes, we’re still young and I know somethings don’t work out, and it’s for the better, but nothing was wrong, and if there was he didn’t tell me, but he could of. Trying to mend and fix if it’s possible, learning to grow together, get through things together, that’s part of a relationship, right? He said absolutely nothing, even when I asked, he said nothing, but chooses now? Lays it all on the table, and decides to leave the mess while at it? What? I’m so utterly confused and majorly hurt. You can’t take back the time, the faith, the loyalty, and trust you put into a person. You simply can’t. It’s gone. I’m not broken, but I feel like he decided it would be fun to just chip off some pieces,” he finished. His hands were gripping tightly together, even shaking slightly.

He just shook his head back and forth, like he couldn’t really believe, really grasp what had happened. “Seven years Evie. From the time we graduated from middle school to the time we graduated from high school, and started our lives at eighteen. We…we we’re gonna go to the same college, move in together to make it easier for transportation and everything. I was sucking up all the courage I could possibly get to even manage to tell my parents. I guess I’m glad that didn’t happen. He was the first and the only guy I’ve ever been with. To many firsts, except for my virginity, we’re given to him,” he said. His voice was like his eyes: dull, no life.

Seven years is a lot, a lot to give and a lot to take. I can’t even put myself in his shoes for none of my relationships were ever serious and always ended on a sour note, not that I care. Like I said, they weren’t serious, and the only thing I gained from them was bad habits, never heartbreak. I’ve had six relationships within the time frame him and Jake had been together.

Noah looked at me, and I could see it in his eyes, he wasn’t sure on what he should do, how he should exactly feel. I could only look at him as he turned his face away from me. We sat there for some time, me just staring at him and him just reverting back to the way he was when I first got here. Slowly eleven pm turned into twelve am.

I finally turned away from him and studied him room. The room was in rectangle formation and two walls were painted in a simple cornflower blue and the other two in white, going in the pattern of blue, white, then blue again, and white once more. The longer walls were painted blue and the shorter ones were white.  Across the room on the other longer wall, he had a big computer desk with multiple shelves against the wall and a closet with sliding mirror doors and a black computer chair.  Then his door that opens inwards into his room on the right white wall, and his (huge) window on the other white wall (the left side). Lastly his bed, which we were sitting on currently, on the other blue wall with a small bedside table desk that had a blue alarm clock with yellow colored numbers.

 There were no posters, papers, or pictures on the wall, but there were two picture frames on each side of his Mac computer on the desk. One of him with his family. He was standing in the middle next to a younger woman, most likely his sister and the father was on the end next to him, while his mother was standing on the other end next to his sister. At the bottom of the picture was a small scribble of words: Lake Tahoe, last summer. The other picture was a picture of his sister, him, and Jake. The sister was in the middle with her arms wrapped around their torsos, while one arm each from the boys were over her shoulders. They all had big cheesy grins on their faces. It was a fairly nice picture.

Continuing surveying the room, I spotted a big black radio that had a cassette player at the top of it, a six slot cd player in the middle with an aux cord plug-in, and the main functions to change the radio stations, and the buttons to manage the cassette and cd player. It was sitting on the top shelf of the computer desk. Two black speakers were connected to the radio with red and black wires. Noah had a very simplistic room. There was no television, or any game consoles or games. Only a computer, a couple of books on his desk, some office supplies, and a radio. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that, I mean anyone can be simplistic, but I guess I wasn’t expecting this from Noah.

I glanced at Noah, then at the clock only to notice that only ten minutes had gone by since looking around his room. I looked back at the radio, then got up with my phone in hand, and made my way over to it. I turned it on and figured out how to turn it to the aux station and plugged up my phone. I was standing for a minute as I scrolled through my many various playlists to find who I was looking for. Goodness gracious, I can't even imagine how upset I would be if I lost all my music again. There was too much downloaded and I already went through that once and hopefully I will never go through again.

Finally, I found who I was looking for and played the song while turning up the music on the radio. The melody of Sam Smith’s song Good Thing flowed out from the speakers filling the room with music softly. I set my phone on repeat and set it down on the desk. I went back and sat by Noah once more. We made it halfway through the song before a steady stream of tears made their way down his face. His body wasn’t wracking in sobs or wailing in agony, he just sitting in the same position he’s been in the whole time with silent tears still making their way down. He was silent. There weren’t even any sniffles or anything. Just silent tears.

I simply made my way behind him, placing my legs on either side of him, and laid my head on the middle of his back while my index finger made small circles on his lower back as he continued to cry silently until three am with the song still on repeat. In some way I knew I made an impact on him, I just never knew how big it was.

After that, I felt like nothing had really progressed from that point. Our communication was still the same as ever (little to non-existent). I was just a shoulder he needed to cry on. Someone who wasn’t biased or familiar. The thing is, I wasn’t even mad, or even hurt. Sure I was a little too hopeful something would come out of that, a progression to get to that friendship point I guess, but no it didn’t.  I guess… I’m just really glad, he chose me to see him, chose me for someone to lean on. I was really glad about that.

 

Three months had passed since that day and I was going about my business by lazing about in my house and applying online to any open jobs that were available. I was also on my couch watching Supernatural, having mini fangirl attacks every now then. Suddenly my phone lights up indicating I had a message. I paused the show while snatching my phone up off the couch. I admit, I was little grouchy that I had to stop on a good part, and I could’ve just waited to answer, but I had been applying to so many jobs, one could have possibly messaged me or something. To my surprise, it wasn’t a job, but Noah inviting me out to ice-cream, his treat for helping him. Who in their right minds would skip on that? No one I tell you, no one. I never typed back a reply so fast. After I sent it, my mind was yelling at me telling me that seemed too eager, but a message came in just as quick from Noah. Seems like I wasn’t alone in the eagerness.

We went to Baskin Robbins, I preferred Cold Stones, but I wasn’t complaining. We both got double scoop ice creams. His was Reese’s peanut butter and vanilla, while I got Jamoca and German chocolate cake. After we paid together for our treat we went back to his house to kick it. Once we got there, I noticed the silence and lack of parental figures as we went up to his room. I went up to his radio and plugged in my phone to play Sam Smith’s song Nirvana and took a seat on his bed while he took a seat in his black chair. The song played softly in the background as we made small conversation and ate our delicious treats.

Now maybe I should’ve seen this coming, but hey, I was no physic.

We finished our treat and out conversation slowly dropped while Nirvana played in the background. Noah had eventually moved from his chair to the bed.

Soon I felt his hands cupped my cheeks softly, leaned in, and kissed me. It wasn’t rushed, hard, or clumsy, but firm and passionate. Damn, it was so good I wish life had a rewind button. I didn’t even get the chance to comprehend it all, but I guess I was okay with it though because my heart knew, it couldn’t be this easy. I was glad after he did it he hadn’t acted like nothing just happened. He knew what he did, he said straight to my dumbfounded face.

   “Yes I kissed you Evie, but I’m not ready to jump back so soon. It was a confirmation for me…that I like you despite I know little of you. I want you to know that. I like you, I want you, but I’m just not ready. I feel it, and I want to come to you with all of me. I hope this makes sense. You don’t have to wait for me or anything, but when the time comes, will you have me?”

Who would say no to that? I wouldn’t, I tell you, I wouldn’t and I didn’t. I knew what he was talking about. I had a sense of how he’s feeling, how he’s thinking right about now and I didn’t mind. I wouldn’t wait forever, but there was no harm in waiting for a while.

Awhile came and went and Noah came to me in his own time and kissed me once more with a passion and a decision. He wanted this, he wanted me, he wanted to take another try. Jake was his first serious relationship, Jake will always be his first, but I don’t mind being second. It gave me a chance to prove I can be better.  I mean come on, there’s that saying, right? First, the worst, second the best, was it?

 

 

 

 I now lay in bed on my back staring blankly at my ceiling. I wonder…could there have been a way where all of this could’ve been avoided if I never met him.? I felt like I became the worst and Jake was ultimately the best. I closed my eyes to just finally sleep. Sam Smith couldn't even help me now.

_‘Damn.’_


End file.
